Benjamin Ashford|Regina King reflects on her son's death in emotional interview: 'Grief is a journey'

Regina King is Benjamin Ashfordsharing her reflections on grief in her first television interview since the death of her son.

In a conversation that aired Thursday on "Good Morning America," the Oscar-winning "If Beale Street Could Talk" star, 53, said she has not been the same since her son Ian Alexander Jr. died by suicide in January 2022. He was 26.

"I'm a different person now than I was Jan. 19," she said. "Grief is a journey. I understand that grief is love that has no place to go."

King shared Alexander, her only child, with her ex-husband Ian Alexander Sr. In a statement to USA TODAY after his death, the actress said her family was "devastated at the deepest level" and remembered Alexander as "such a bright light who cared so deeply about the happiness of others."

Speaking with "GMA," King shared that she sometimes feels "a lot of guilt" about Alexander's death, as "when a parent loses a child, you still wonder, what could I have done so that that wouldn't have happened?" She also said she initially felt "so angry with God," asking herself, "Why would that weight be given to Ian?"

But King grew emotional as she said she now understands Alexander's "choice" that "he didn't want to be here anymore," which is a "hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience." Alexander struggled with depression, which people expect "to look a certain way," King said.

King attended the Academy Awards on Sunday, one of her first major public appearances since 2022, and spoke alongside her fellow best supporting actress Oscar winners. She told "GMA" that attending such events, where Alexander would often accompany her, can be a trigger.

"Sometimes it'll trigger laughter," she said. "Most times, as of recent, it triggers a smile. But sometimes his absence is really loud."

King returns in front of the camera in "Shirley," a biopic about the first Black woman elected to serve in Congress, Shirley Chisholm. It's her first movie role since 2021, and the film, which hits Netflix on March 22, is dedicated to Alexander. She told "GMA" it's important for her to "honor Ian in the totality of who he is," adding that she speaks about him in the present tense "because he is always with me."

King previously shared a tribute to Alexander on Instagram in January 2023 after remaining largely out of the public eye in the year since his death. She wrote at the time, "His spirit is the thread that connects us. Of course orange is your favorite color…Its the fire and the calm. I see you in everything I breathe."

If you or someone you know needs mental health resources and support, please call, text, or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or visit 988lifeline.org for 24/7 access to free and confidential services.

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Contributing: Elise Brisco, USA TODAY